I figured I’d do something a little different this week and share one of my favorite workouts. But wait, you say, what does exercising have to do with writing?

Short answer: Not a whole lot, but it’s what I feel like writing about, so here you go.

Long answer: The mind and body are connected, so much so that it’s hard to say where one stops and the other starts. A healthier body makes for a healthier mind, which makes for a better writer.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor. I’m not a physical trainer. Know as you read this that you’re getting an advice from nothing more than an enthusiastic amateur. As always, before starting a new workout regimen, talk to someone who at least claims to be an expert.

I’m a firm believer that writing offers many health benefits for our emotional and mental health, but less so for our physical health. The act of writing can make our joints arthritic, our posture crappy, and our bodies flabby. So, devoting a bit of time each day to exercise can help counteract these ill effects. Sometimes, a brisk walk is just the thing when I’m stuck on a plot point. Other times, it just feels good to have a kick-ass workout.

And that’s what I want to write about today: a workout that’s perfect for writers and can be adjusted to be as hard or as easy as you wish. All you really need is a deck of playing cards. In its simplest form, the workout would go something like this:

1. Shuffle the deck.
2. Deal yourself a card.
3. If it’s black, do pushups. If it’s red, do body weight squats.
4. To determine the number of reps, go by the number value of the card. If it’s a face card, do ten reps.
5. Deal out the cards until you do the whole deck.

Work at it until you can get through the entire deck. That’s 170 pushups and 170 body weight squats. Depending on your level of fitness, this may be relatively easy or unbelievably hard. Once you can get through the whole deck, start timing yourself and work to improve your time. Or consider doing The 600 workout variation described below.

So why do I recommend this workout for writers?

It’s flexible.

You can do it anywhere, even hotel rooms. You just need a little bit of floor space.

It’s minimalist.

You only need a deck of cards and maybe a single dumbbell, depending what exercises you use.

It’s efficient.

It gives you a great cardio workout as well as a great muscle workout.

It tells a story.

Because of the randomness of the cards, every one of these workouts produces a different narrative. The face cards (and jokers in the variant workout below) quickly become antagonists lurking inside your deck. The lower numbered cards become allies. And you become the star of your very own story.

Not for you? Maybe try one of these ideas for variations:

Diversify

You can make the workout more complicated by having different exercises for the four suits. An example could be: Pushups for Clubs, Burpees for Spades, Squats for Diamonds, and Crunches for Hearts.

Sweatify

If you want more cardio, you could mix in some jumping jacks or mountain climbers, or throw in some shadow boxing or kickboxing.

Bonus: The 600

For the past year or so, I’ve been doing a slightly different version of the playing card workout. For mine, I include the jokers, so that I have a total of 54 cards. I also group every three cards into a super-set of dumbbell swings immediately followed by a set of pushups. Here’s how it works:

1. Shuffle the deck of 54 cards and start your stopwatch.
2. Deal yourself three cards to determine the reps for your super-set.
3. Add up the total value of all red cards dealt, and do that many dumbbell swings with a moderate weight. Remember, number cards are face value. Face cards are worth 10.
4. Add up the total value of all black cards dealt, and do that many pushups.
5. For any jokers, do an added 15 reps of BOTH dumbbell swings and pushups.

Example 1: If you deal yourself a joker, a 7 of hearts, and a jack of spades, you’d do 22 dumbbell swings (15+7) and 25 pushups (15 + 10).

Example 2: If you deal yourself an ace of hearts, a 6 of diamonds, and a 9 of spades, you’d do 7 dumbbell swings (1+6) and 9 pushups.

6. In between every 9 cards dealt (in other words, in between every 3 super sets), I do a set of 40 reverse crunches.

So, to recap, it’d look something like this:

3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
40 Reverse Crunches
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
40 Reverse Crunches
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
40 Reverse Crunches
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
40 Reverse Crunches
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
40 Reverse Crunches
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset
3 Card Superset

When you reach the end of the deck, that’s a whopping 600 reps comprised of 200 pushps, 200 dumbbell swings, and 200 reverse crunches. Time yourself and try to finish the deck in 16 minutes. Once you can do all that in 16 minutes, try increasing the weight of your dumbbell by five pounds the next time you do it.

I won’t lie. This is a brutal workout. By the end of it, I’m ready to collapse. But I love the all-out full-on madness of it. I hope you do, too.